Delighted that rehearsals start this week for Seven Angels Theatre's world premiere production of BORN FAT - The Life, Fat & Weight Loss of Elizabeth Petruccione.  After three readings and a workshop production at the Philly Fringe Festival, we are ready for primetime!  I am thrilled to partner director and long-time friend Steve Raider-Ginsburg with one my favorite actors, April Woodall.  

After exactly no one clamored for it, we've created a website for I LOVED, I LOST, I MADE SPAGHETTI.  Far and away my most successful play with seven different productions, ILILIMS has finally earned its spots on the interwebs.  In fact, we are breaking the internet with a new website (www.spaghettiplay.com), a Facebook page (www.facebook.com/spagplay), a Twitter account (www.twitter.com/spagplay or @spagplay), and an Instagram account (spagplay).  Join me and Giulia on any one of our internet haunts and let us know if we should add an account for Vines, Tumblr, Pinterest, or Grindr.

So this is something exciting that happened, but I think it is a mix of both bitter and sweet.  Many, many months ago, I was asked to re-write parody lyrics for the song "Stacy's Mom" to be performed by the singing string quartet, Well-Strung.  The group is managed by the same management as my longtime friend and colleague, Varla Jean Merman.  The request was to write a version about Hillary Clinton entitled "Chelsea's Mom."  I wrote the lyrics.  The people involved seemed to like them.  Months went by and I heard nothing.  Via Facebook, I found out that the song had been recorded, released as a video...and almost completely rewritten.  I am credited as a co-writer for the tune as four of my lines remained.  Four lines are better than none, but the song has become an out-and-out love letter to Hillary's candidacy, which I'm not really supporting.  I'm totally Feeling the Bern.  "She's sexy and she's strong?"  I'd only write that about Martin O'Malley.

As to the finished song, Chelsea Clinton tweeted it.  Then Hillary retweeted it.  It was picked up by various sites like HuffPo and BuzzFeed.  Well-Strung has performed it for Hillary herself at a PTown fundraiser and for President Obama at an LGBT/DNC fundraiser in New York.  The YouTube video (embedded above) has over 200K views.  Well-Strung was on national TV this morning performing the song and I'm very excited for them.  This is a huge success for all involved and I should feel a little more on board with it.  So you can see what I originally wrote (and I've highlighted the four lines that survived to the final tune), here are the lyrics to my CHELSEA'S MOM...

Chelsea's mom has got it going on.
Chelsea's mom has got it going on.
Chelsea's mom has got it going on.
Chelsea's mom has got it going on.

Chelsea, let’s go hit that voting booth (voting booth)
I want your mom, that’s the truth (that’s the truth)
Did your mom get back from Pakistan? (Pakistan)
Is she home, or is she in Russia kicking Putin’s can? (Putin’s can)

You know, she’s not the First Lady that she used to be
Michelle’s more stylish, but your mom’s the one for me

Chelsea's mom has got it goin' on
She's all we want and we've waited for so long
Palin, can't you see, she don’t even sit to pee
I know it might be wrong but I'm voting for Chelsea's mom

Chelsea's mom has got it goin' on
Chelsea's mom has got it goin' on

Chelsea, do you remember when we bought “Hard Choices?” (bought “Hard Choices”)
We squealed at the signing, I know she heard our voices (our voices)
I could tell she liked me from the way she stared (the way she stared)
And the way she called, "Secret Service!” I know she cared (I know she cared)

And I know that you think I’m all about the drama
But after the last eight years, I’m sorry I voted Obama

Chelsea's mom has got it goin' on
She's all we need, and we've waited so long
Bachmann, can't you see your IQ's fifty-three?
Yeah, Bengazi was a bomb,
but I'm voting for Chelsea's mom

Chelsea's mom has got it goin' on
She's all we want and we've waited for so long,
Christie can't you see, you’re just not Hillary!
Boehner’s just plain wrong but oh oh
(I know Boehner is wrong)
I'm voting for (Chelsea's mom oh oh)
(Chelsea’s mom oh oh)
I'm voting for Chelsea's mom
 
I highly recommend you check out (and buy) Well-Strung's new album POPssical, featuring CHELSEA'S MOM as a bonus track.  I've not heard I'm getting any money for it (or even the chance to get in a Well-Strung sandwich), but buy with confidence.

In 1883, Mark Twain and William Dean Howells joined forces to write a comedy entitled COLONEL SELLERS AS A SCIENTIST.  The play flopped with the New York Tribune calling it, “a miserable lot of twaddle with neither dramatic construction or reason.”  Can upstart Jacques Lamarre stand shoulder-to-shoulder with these two giants of American Letters by twisting their play into a Steampunk-Zombie mash-up farce?  Find out when David Moske, Debi Freund, Virginia Wolf, Rayah Martin, Michael McKiernan, Marisa Clement, and Ed Bernstein exhume this undead theatrical footnote at The Mark Twain House & Museum on November 30th.  Special thanks to Steampunk artist/genius Joey Marsocci for the poster.

I just wanted to share the love I have for the four ladies who have worked so incredibly hard onstage to bring Giulia to life in I LOVED, I LOST, I MADE SPAGHETTI.  Top to bottom:  Denise Summerford for Half Moon Theatre at the Culinary Institute of America (playing now!); Michelle Damato for Florida Repertory Theatre (playing now!); Maria Baratta for two runs at 7 Angels Theatre; and the originator, Antoinette LaVecchia for TheaterWorks, George Street Playhouse, Asolo Repertory Theatre, and Cincinnati Playhouse on the Park).  You fill my bowl to overflowing!

Last weekend, I made my Boston debut as a playwright (aside from a few of the shows I have written with and for Varla Jean Merman).  Zeigeist Stage did a private, one-night only reading of DAS REINHOLD - THE COCKRING CYCLE, Part 1.  It was a mash-up of Mahler's "Das Reinghold" from "Der Ring des Nibelungens" with a filthy Boston leather bar.  Artistic Director David Miller really let my freak flag fly in honor of his partner Reinhold Mahler's 80th birthday.  Who knows if this show will ever see the light of day again, but you should definitely check out Zeitgeist Stage. 

Thrilled to bits that my play I LOVED, I LOST, I MADE SPAGHETTI, based on the memoir by Giulia Melucci is currently rehearsing at two theatres for two brand new productions!  The show will be mounted by the Half Moon Theatre at the Culinary Institute of America at Hyde Park.  I'm particularly excited because the director will be Michael Schiralli, who has directed several of the comedy shows I have co-written for drag superstar Varla Jean Merman.  The Half Moon Production will feature Drama Desk Award-winner Denise Summerford.  She's a young mother, so I imagine juggling the demands of this one-woman show and a busy daughter will keep her hopping for the next two months. 

Speaking of demanding, the Florida Repertory Theatre production is also rehearsing at the moment, in Fort Myers, Florida.  The reason the show will be demanding is that the wonderful actress playing Giulia, Michelle Damato, is working for two Italian foodies (Director Michael Marrotta and Artistic Director Robert Cacioppo).  No pressure there.  Apparently, Michelle, who is a repertory cast member of the company, is already cranking out the dough and I'm sure will knock it out of the park.

The real Giulia and I will be traveling to Fort Meyers to attend previews and the October 9th opening.  The next morning, we get on a plane to LaGuardia and drive to Hyde Park to attend the October 10th opening for Half Moon Theatre.  If you haven't seen the show yet, I hope you catch it in one of the two locations!

In other SPAGHETTI news, our original (stage) Giulia, Antoinette LaVecchia is starring in the world premiere of Ken Ludwig's A COMEDY OF TENORS in Cleveland before it moves onto the McCarter Theatre.  The show is a sequel to Ludwig's classic LEND ME A TENOR, which I had a chance to see as a 12-year-old usher at the American Stage Festival in Milford, NH, when it premiered under the title OPERA BUFFA.  Antoinette is one of the most honest, funny actors I have seen onstage, so be sure to check out her work.  So proud of her!

It seems lately I have been the advance team for Pope Francis' inaugural visit to the United States.  I am on the train to NYC right now, the day that he arrives.  Apparently much of the city is going to be chaos as a result of his appearance.  Last weekend, I was in Washington, D.C. with my father, and you could see Pope hysteria building.  The weekend before, I was in Philadelphia for the Philly Fringe Festival where, although the last stop on his tour, Pope-mania was already in full swing.  I need his publicist.

The Philly Fringe was a great experience as we were workshopping my new play, BORN FAT - BASED ON THE LIFE, FAT & TRIUMPH OF ELIZABETH PETRUCCIONE.  My dear friend Gina Giusto made her directorial debut with a streamlined production, and the real Elizabeth was on hand to superintend the proceedings with her BFF Sharon.  April Woodall appeared in my first full-length play, GRAY MATTERS at the Midtown International Theatre Festival.  She won Best Actress for the Festival for that show and was brilliant in this new play.  I'm so delighted to work with her again, particularly as this show moves forward toward its January production premiere at Seven Angels Theatre in Waterbury, under the direction of Steven Raider-Ginsburg. 

BORN FAT received a terrific notice in Philadelphia Magazine, showing here.  The critic even left the gallery where the show was playing, went out to the sidewalk, and Facebook posted that it was great.   Social media is the best.  Particularly gratifying was his comparison of Elizabeth to the characters found in O'Neill as the NY Times review for my play I LOVED, I LOST, I MADE SPAGHETTI started with a the line, "Well, it isn't LONG DAY'S JOURNEY INTO NIGHT," before  going on to giving a begrudgingly decent review for the show.  We did get a stinker review for BORN FAT from a blogger.  From what I understand, she and her friend plunked themselves down IN  THE FRONT ROW, wrote notes during the entire performance and looked like they would rather have bamboo shoots driven under their nails than sit through my play.  Nice for the actor.  Oddly and coincidentally, the reviewer singles out the same line ("I hid food like it was Ann Frank's family") as terrible that the Philly Mag reviewer pulled in his good review.  Just goes to show one woman's trash is another man's treasure. She is certainly entitled to her opinion and I'm particularly proud that on a scale of 1 to 10, my play rated an "8" on making her uncomfortable.  Now she knows how it feels to be an actor with a critic in the front row taking notes throughout and looking like someone is shitting in her lap.  Hopefully she will go see the Pope's performance and find it more to her liking.